my tuition dollars at work.

what i have found while not paying attention to in class...



how true indeed....

amata

it's 10:02 and i'm in bed. with my door closed. with my pjs on. i'm hoping this will become my routine for this next semester. goodbye late nights of hanging out and sleeping in til the crack of noon! it is a bittersweet farewell. while i will miss being lazy and having ultimate freedom, i am looking forward to getting disciplined and starting this new chapter of life. a chapter that includes graduation(!), some great reading, and of course, great fellowship. i know the Lord has some great things in store and i so look forward to the growth this new stage will bring! i pray that He will continue to reveal more of Himself to me and that I will be diligent in seeking Him out.

A friend wrote me a letter 2 years ago and reading it then, i had no idea it would be exactly what i would need today! I will share some of this letter with you
"A teacher pointed something out to me the other day. He said that we are the bride of Christ, yet so often we neglct this. WE FORGET WE ARE HIS BELOVED. That he cares for us deeply and tenderly. He delights in us. So, so often I forget that I am His beloved. Because of this, my relationship with Him becomes professional- this set of words and set of meeting times. What husband would want that? Yet I treat God as if He's satisfied with this. That's where this stationary quote comes in for me- God doesn't care about whatever I give Him if He can't have me: my realness, my non-eloquent verbage, my dull affections a times- He wants those because they are me and He desires to take those things and shape them beautifully. What an incredible God!"

I pray that I will remember to give God all my thought, questions, and concerns with all areas of my life. because He uses all those things to mold me to be more like Christ. which is the goal! we, His children, are the amata, the beloved.

its close to 10:30 now so i'm off to dreamland!

Pipity Piper

John Piper wrote this and I wanted everyone (all 5 of you) to read it!

Here are some of the reasons you should pray and meditate over biblical truth.

1. Biblical truth saves.

Take heed to yourself and to your doctrine; hold to that, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Timothy 4:16)

2. Biblical truth frees from Satan.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:32)

3. Biblical truth imparts grace and peace.

May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. (2 Peter 1:2)

4. Biblical truth sanctifies.

Sanctify them in the truth; Your Word is truth. (John 17:17)

5. Biblical truth serves love.

It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment. (Philippians 1:9)

6. Biblical truth protects from error.

Attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God...so that we may no longer be...carried to and fro by every wind of doctrine. (Ephesians 4:13-14)

7. Biblical truth is the hope of heaven.

Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

8. Biblical truth will be resisted by some.

The time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings. (2 Timothy 4:3)

9. Biblical truth, rightly handled, is approved by God.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

10. Biblical truth: Continue to grow in it!

Grow in the grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 3:18)

new theology, new creation, new child. part 2

It's the fourth session of Resolved conference. A conference put on by Grace Community Church comprised of a couple thousand college students, taking a sip out of a a fire hydrant of solid reformed/baptist preachers dishing out solid truth to a generation that needs it. In the past, C.J. Mahaney's messages have been filled with tears, compassion, and one of the most genuine loves for Christ I have EVER seen. I was looking forward to his message this year expecting nothing less! ...I had no idea what was in store for me.

The theme of this year's conference was "Heaven and Hell." When I saw the title of CJ's message was "Knowing God as Father: The doctrine of Adoption" I felt my stomach sink and knew that what I was about to hear had nothing to do with the conference, and everything to do with a divine conversation with God Himself and His confused daughter.

CJ began his message by reading the text (Galatians 1:1-7) and goes on to describe too many genuine believers he has met that are "uncertain of God's love for them. They are suspicious of God...in light of their sin and the holiness of God they wonder if God really does love them. They tend to think of God as tolerating them, frustrated with them...and perhaps this evening you are one of them...If this is you tonight then it is my prayer that this message will be a defining moment for you and alter your view of God and his love for you." (even as I type and relisten to this message, my eyes are full of tears) At this moment I can say with full assurance of faith, God was there. Next to me. Opening my ears. Holding me. My eyes welled up with tears and I began wondering how on Earth CJ got my journal and why is he reading it in from of everyone. I looked around thinking "wait... I'm not the only one that struggles with this? Does he know that he is preaching this message for me only?" I don't remember taking my eyes off of CJ for the next hour of his message.

I will spare you all of the details of the outline of his message and give you the highlights...

1I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, 2but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father. 3In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.

Here is the set up. We were slaves to this world. Slaves to sin. Orphans. But we were not the cute, helpless babies that we so often imagine in orphanages, we were covered in the filth of our sin and loved it. We murdered our adopting parent's son. We laughed and spit in his face.

4But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

CJ then goes to explain Christ's sacrifice on the cross. God crushing his perfect son. It says in Isaiah 53 that he was "pleased to crush him." He did this for me. the orphan who spit in His face. the orphan who was reaching back for the filth I once lived in. God KILLED his son. for me. why?
First, (v.5) Christ came to redeem. His brutal death on the cross allows sinners like us to receive divine grace and gives us eternal life. Now that, in and of itself is sufficiently astounding! That is enough for God's people to praise Him for eternity in glory. BUT HE'S NOT DONE.
Secondly, the second part of verse 5 says Christ came to adopt. A-d-o-p-t. to accept me and love me as a daughter. He did not have to. but He chose to. He has chosen to love me. to delight in me. to be affectionate with me. in this act i went from a slave to a son.
what more could God have done to show me His love? how can I read this and not believe He loves me?

6And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God

Notice in these verses he says "you." YOU are now sons, YOU are no longer a slave. in the previous verses he does not talk directly to the reader. it is as if God is kneeling down and making eye contact with the listener. "You are no longer a slave to this world but my daughter, my heir." By the way, God didn't need an heir! He had His son, Christ! He chose to make us heirs and members of His family. Also, my love for God is not a root, but a fruit! My love for him proves His love for me! I would not love Him if He did not first put it there.

Just like in the story of the prodigal son, it says that the father felt it in his gut when he saw his boy coming home. he could have made him a slave and been COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED. but he no. he chose to run to him, kiss him, and celebrate his return. how much more is God's love for me? He crushed his son and is preparing a mansions for us to live in forever. to enjoy him for eternity. to be in the presence of our loving, affectionate Father forever and ever amen.

tragic.

facebook as ceased to function properly on my laptop at work. WHY?! how else am I supposed to fill 15 hours of working every week if I can't spend a significant amount of them on facebook? Maybe the powers that be caught on and did something.

so instead of staring at the same facebook pages I always do, I chosen to waste my time at work today by revisiting my dear old friend, the rubix cube. i spent an hour on it today before getting to work. then i proceeded to give one of the pastors a lesson on the addicting 80's puzzle. My teaching skills once again proved to be insufficient seeing that he still has no idea what on earth to do with the darn thing.

then one of the secretaries and i engaged in some good bulletin stuffing trash talk. before we raced to stuff 1050 bulletins.

sometimes the amount of excitement in my life amazes me.

the office.

awkward moments in the workplace:

beginning an email to the senior pastor and unknowingly sending it with only one complete sentence. then getting a very confused response a day later.

sure as the dawn

ok so this is long over-due i know. first of all, thank you for an amazing birthday! i have no idea how 22 crept up on me but i'm loving it so far! My day included sleeping in, free tepanyaki (thank you beth), lounging around barnes and noble looking at photography books, delicious dinner, and time with friends doing what we do best, being crazy!

can i just say that i have an amazing life for the next couple weeks? in 6 days i first get to spend an evening with my callan and then i'm flying to noman's land of the great south of mississippi to see the most precious family i know.
My girls :)
Maddie Paige age 5

Lauren Elizabeth age 3

Caitlin Grace 8 months





Then im seeing Phantom of the Opera in San fran on Sunday with bethers! a best friend, one of the most amazing musicals of all time, and san fran! who could as for more??

i've also been reading some good stuff in the Word lately. i was blessed to recieve an ESV study bible for my birthday and i love it! I've been reading out of Hosea and am continually blown away by my God's unconditional love for His people.

6:1-3:
"Come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
he has struck us down, an he will bind us up.
After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him.
Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth."

There are times where HE tears us and HE strikes us down but never without healing us and bringing us back to himself. and he is as sure as the dawn. he will ALWAYS be waiting. ALWAYS rescue us. the most loving thing our God can do is show us himself and there are times when it takes him tearing us down for us to see Him. what a loving God that we can trust!

6:4-6
What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
Your love is like a morning cloud,
like the dew that goes early away.
Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of my mouth,
and my judgment goes forth as the light.
For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

How often is our love for God fickle?! how often do we, like Gomer the prostitute, run to any and every earthly temperary satisfaction? what a good reminder that he disires our steadfast love. not our mindless spiritual checklist.

11:8-9
How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?
How can I make you like Admah?
How can I treat you like Zeboiim?
My heart recoils within me;
my compassion grows warm and tender.
I will not execute my burning anger;
I will not again destroy Ephraim;
for I am God and not a man,
the Holy One in your midst,
and I will not come in wrath.

despite our sin and fickle hearts, he still loves us like a father his children, and even more so! it is rare that we hear people describe their relationship with the Lord as warm and tender but that's our father! he desires to protect us and be tender and compassionate with us.

how thankful i am that my God does not act out of anger, but chooses to deal with me gently and compassionately. what an amazing God we serve!