Two

lots of things happened today. well probably not anymore than a normal day but since im writing them out it seems like a lot.

I went to work. told dave i might quit. he told me that if i am in the word, seeking counsel, and im in prayer then i can do whatever the heck i want. now its just a matter of figuring out what that is. then i continued to make my endless amounts of phone calls, repeating the exact same thing over and over. i have my little schpeel memorized to the point where i can text and leave a message at the same time. however, i could be reciting what i am typing and i would have no idea. today i realized that i don't want to be a secretary forever. contradictory to what i have believed my entire life. ...back to the drawing board.

something funny: i called a family the other day and this is convo that happened. me: "hi is your mom or dad home?" girl "no my mom isn't home and my dad can't come to the phone right now." me: "oh okay when would should i call back?" girl "my dad is in the bathtub" me: "...well...ill call back...in... an hour..." i didn't tho. i started laughing whenever i tried.

i want to travel. im pretty sure if i had endless amounts of money, i would go to every major city in the world and spend a month there. find hole in the wall restaurants and sit and stare at art or the great land marks. just being amongst glimpses of my creative God gets my heart beating fast.

i really like art. i may not seem like it but it fascinates me. the deep meaning behind paint. i always wished that i was more artsy and may be i am but i just have never let it out. i also saw a man smoking a pipe today. pipes are extremely attractive to me. i think they represent wisdom, grandfathers, and people who know much more than i. im pretty sure the man i end up with has to smoke a pipe. or at least own one.

dreams freak me out. well i take that back. most of the time i am really intrigued and amused by them but the concept scares me to death. scenarios that you can actually feel and have no real control over. i truly believe satan used dreams to cause us to lose focus. well he does for me at least. my weirdly detailed memory replays things over and over in my head. and the fact i think in a film like sequence doesn't help either.

i need to get better at this.