So I haven't done this blog thing in quite a while. So what is causing me to do it now? I have no idea. Just that I feel like I've learned a great deal of things in the past 6 months and perhaps I should write them down?
I believe the last time I wrote was April. So let's start there. I was reading the Pursuit of Holiness then, and here I am now, still (kind of) reading it. I have no ability to finish books and I'm okay with that. I'm still at my job and I've learned that at around month 10 of every job I've had, I'm ready to move on. So here I am, at month 10, ready to move on. But I'm sticking with it. The Lord has given me a spirit that loves change and I think He may want to challenge my ability to commit and stick with it. So whether I'm being spit on, scratched, or hugged, I shall continue, as unto Christ. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true! I am living with 2 fantastic girls that I'm learning more about all the time and we are getting along great!
In the past 6 months I've learned about so many of my weaknesses. I've learned that I try to please men, I'm dependent on affirmation, and I need major priority checks (to name a few). I lived with the Downs family this summer (by the grace of God!) and I thought my summer was going to be all good feelings, Jesus loves me's, and giggles but the Lord had other plans. He used the month I was there to show me of my need for Him. Not men, words, or "good jobs" but just Him. I learned I look outward far too often, blaming, excusing, and justifying my actions, when I should be looking inward, at my heart that is in need of change! He has so much He wants to work out in me if only I would stop and examine myself.
I have also spent a lot of time with Godly women in my life that encourage me, laugh with me, and slap me when I need it. I wouldn't trade a second of it!
All in all I'm so grateful for a God who is never done molding me, a God who gives grace and power to people like me, and a God who is El Roi, the God who sees. He sees where I'm at, my imperfections, my failed attempts and does not passively watch, but actively provides for, smiles upon, disciplines, and walks with me. Hallelujiah!
